Category Archives: Uncategorized

Embarking Up A New Tree Falling In The Forest

Does “it” make a sound when used grammatically erect inside slip and slides lying to our children. Get up off of the floor routine and olympic roll gold before your flexibull-shit shits on us one last time.

Panic roommates fix the joke alarms and thread the haystacks before Flash Gorton takes the picture of the fish sticks. I can only do this twice, five is dead but the forth times a blow pop, so when fellating father-time suck seeds out the pomegranate.

Pillow fighting hard boiled eggheads only cracks up sidewalk sweepers. Tetanus shooting basket ball players is illegal in this state of mind. I walked right into a bat once. Water Polio vaccines are being administered by ministers inside a nearby Wallgreens.

Gummi Bears can’t complain about porridge temperatures, but three little police officers lost their houses in Big Bad Sandy. Snow White falls bright when visible rays of light wave at black magicians making sound disappear.


Deaf con-artists working for Verizon can’t hear me plow fields of dreams. Blind doctors can’t see certain sections at the baby basketball game. In a fight for more pacifiers, the commissioner issues three-hole punched grenades without bowling pins. Lebron Jameson Whiskey opens hearts to Cavaliers fearing abandonment and wins.

Diphthongs are difficult for Vanna White as well as “ñ.” Oolong tea takes too long to steep and marshmellow peeps are people too! Get over yourself in yoga class and treat your fecal matter better.

Oncologically speaking Spock’s cancer spread quicker on planets further from the sun. Captain Kirk Cameron was left behind in a ditch made for two. Beam me up, future version of myself I have a poem to share with you.

Practice Makes Perfectionists Question Their Perfections (2008)

I have a confession to make:

Heartbreak dancers flake snow globes spinning pins and needles in hay-stacker two by fours. Pour milk in silk spheres clearing curious cats crying over spilled tears of forgotten chores. Clean rooms of dust puppies pounding pave-meant to be spotless 456-7upping perfectionists, while percussionists bang drums slowly and twiddle thumbs boldly going where no composer has gone before. Make a mental note that true trouble is treble clef theft from an unsupervised staff of chimpanzees and accordion players with polka dot lunch boxes and hulk underwear with stretched elastic.

Measure IQ’s with standardized rests hooked to dreamscapes scraping cerebellums with mozzarella moto-photo operatives stuck on cheese and cracker jack boxers in the ring of fireman extinguishing memories of a forgotten fast food diet, but be quiet the sleeping tea bags have no caffeine.

Cold cuts hurt more than warm butts of cigarettes sinking slowly into flesh.
Turkey’s give thanks for being spared one more year and confess of killing appetites while in flight and fight with penguins unarmed but for grins and grappling hooks stuck on fish flailing to mail postmen messages of the deli closing for renovations.

Popsicle sticks and stones break wishbones phoning homework answers to kids clueless as to why train A and train B arrived at the same time last year. Wiffle ball bats are made out of waffles eggoing on hungry pitchers to throw strikes only to bowler batters confused of which sports-man-ship the gods sailed on when immortality failed them.

Detectives discover meat markets to be a great place to meet criminals holding sausage parties and arrest insomniacs keeping Sherlock up at night on whether he was sure to lock his car door, for the more watts on, the deader the battery will become once Watson arrives the next morning to drive to the scene of the roast beef.

Hieroglyphics clear up pimples and cheer up dimples disappearing from smiles gone awry inside pyramids perverting librarians stuck in bookmarks. Sweaty pogo stick users make me sick to my esophagus and racist confetti should not be thrown out, because I hate cleaning up the message.

Pinatas made of diamonds broke my engagement to the one woman I still valued. On bended knee I sucked her finger and swallowed her ring, I digested it all three weeks later and checked the toilet only to find her current boyfriend floating helplessly in a sea of my shit, I flushed my three pairs of queens along with a straight jacket and him. It didn’t all go down as smoothly as I would have liked.

My to do list for my next sixteen to–do lists ended up in my washing machine, and when I put them both in the dryer I felt a renewed sense of accomplishment comparable to the time I circumcised my brother when he was being a dickhead to my father.


The fact that I will sit here for a good portion of my day and write this
scares me more than most people. I fear I may have lost all sense of sense.

Cigars, milk shakes and honey nut Cheerios.

Perhaps not.

Perhaps knots tied before careers comply will end in frenzy.

Do not pass go. Do not pass gas. Do not pass notes in my class.
Put your hands over your head and lean to the right then left,
Flex, this is the home stretch.

Mail your presents to your friends and family exactly one year before their actual birthday date, its never too early to wrap this up.
Jockey’s listen to me especially-
Hold your horses I think I’m about to end.

Be profound with me and get lost.

Freestyle Freestyle

Aww Yeah…
Fresh out the freshwater
Some Chlorine-
A little bit.

Got my goggles on-
Clear as shit.

Grandmaster Splash in the Kool G Swimming Cap.
Shout outs to Melted Ice Cube and LL POOL J.
Pharaoh Conch and Mos Depth.
They Call me Butterflyclef,
The liquid kid who never quits.
Check this this is it.

I spit better than Spitz
I’m Incredible
put me on the pedestal
top of metal mountain
21 and counting
15 gold fish
must be part water-fountain-
with a never-ending flow
put on an electric eel good show
hold your breath ready ready ready set go
its groovy yo
how much time I spend in studio
whys my head so freaking low
what the heck
all this gold weighing down my neck
I’m the interview ostrich
it’s like I take Bob Costas Hostage
talk to me and my moms
but if I have to hear the star spangled
One More Time
I’m gonna strangle silver 4th and bronze.

Dive in pick a stroke I win
Now smile
Dive in pick a stroke its the free-freestyle
Dive in pick a stroke I win
Now smile
Dive in relay race then free freestyle.

US swimmers are ripped
you dope and your stripped
its the h20lympics
me dwyer berens and lochtee
not to be cocky
freeze the pool we’ll beat you in ice hockey
you can’t stop us n you cant stop me.
Fans love competitors hate me
i’m riding high either way no t.H.c
i’d butterfly in the sky
have angels race me
mermaids race me
whatever the race ill win it put on clinic
My Nemotherapy
Ahab and Aquaman ain’t got nothing on me
im the greatest
only one who can say this
i stay in my lane and swim
if u Pay me to take a dive
i wont lose, i’ll win.

Dive in pick a stroke its the free-free style
Dive in  pick a stroke I win
Now smile
Dive in pick a stroke its the free-freestyle
Dive in pick a stroke I win
Now smile
Dive in win the race in the free freestyle.